Thresholds are entrances and exits. We don't perceive the space as the same when we exit the house and when we enter it. We enter into something and feel threatened by the inside or the outside, we feel hesitation on the threshold, both fear and safety. As we are not engaged yet, not totally committed to the fatality that awaits.
I might be more aware of the in-between than others as it takes me so long to find a home. Even twenty years ago I didn't feel uprooted from my home in Vienna, I felt on the quest to go looking for a home.
After my thesis in philosophy, I started to develop a theory, or a practice, on thresholds and I applied the term to in-between states of the mind and the body. A little bit like Victor Turner with liminality. Threshold was the right term because it is a word that designates something material in the visual world and can be used in medicine and psychology when it is referred to as the threshold of pain or of consciousness. So the word itself is twofold.
Thresholds are in between thinking moments. Perception creates knowledge with a pause where nothing makes sense, a pause that is the present moment, a pause we are not aware of, we are in a flow of constant sense, with in the background something like history, our own, the history of humanity, society and the continuous and stable big picture that never leaves our mind but is not the center of the focus at all times. The background is the scene and inside it the changes are perceptible.
Thresholds are in thought, but thresholds are also between the mind and the body. Sometimes the mind leaves the body, like in a religious experience, trance, drugs or some perception altering input. But it just happens normally when we dance, walk, play sports, sing, have sex or a are absorbed by some kind of activity where the body takes over and the mind slips away. When the mind is focused on the activity and concentration disappears inside it, and there is sense of neither body nor mind.
Touching the thresholds
It was about the everyday. That every day needs a new fight. And I must have put some kind of distress in you with some kind of long-term sadness that I have been carrying around. When I jump in the everyday now I understand what you mean. This is also why my book is about you. You do everything naturally that I spent my time thinking through. You are my threshold.
Now that I know that particles can actually dissolve in love, that there is no you or me, that there are no vain concerns and that there is no heartbreak and that there is no relationship and that there is no who will be here for dinner or spend the night. These things are nothing but temporary moods. You and me, we grasp eternity when we are inside each other. I never thought there was such wonderfulness and that the whole book I wrote was just about you inside me and then there was nothing else to say.
It was about the everyday. That every day needs a new fight. And I must have put some kind of distress in you with some kind of long-term sadness that I have been carrying around. When I jump in the everyday now I understand what you mean. This is also why my book is about you. You do everything naturally that I spent my time thinking through. You are my threshold.
Now that I know that particles can actually dissolve in love, that there is no you or me, that there are no vain concerns and that there is no heartbreak and that there is no relationship and that there is no who will be here for dinner or spend the night. These things are nothing but temporary moods. You and me, we grasp eternity when we are inside each other. I never thought there was such wonderfulness and that the whole book I wrote was just about you inside me and then there was nothing else to say.
My life is good. I have you. Or I don't. We never know. And then, I want to say I love you. Sometimes it is in the words. And you know because you say you know what I want? everything I have right now. I am all yours right now. You know how to live in the moment. You enjoy me at last. Now all I need to do is enjoy it too. Not just saying I need to relax, I really need to relax.
The words. Yes. This is love is good to say. I love you is not.
Keep them, lose me, is also a good thing to say.
A garden is a good thing.
Having to leave for a certain time. Is that a good thing, too?
Keep them, lose me, is also a good thing to say.
A garden is a good thing.
Having to leave for a certain time. Is that a good thing, too?
When you don't stay present for feelings, even when it gets harder to stay true, then emotions get stuck inside you and build blocks to the flow of your breath and your energy and then a disease develops slowly it can be a growth at a place that is difficult to reach and so you need to change everything for it to heal or you ignore it and take it sideways keeping the fear and the junk it doesn't matter your life is ultimately your choice and people around you only play roles in your script, there is no real connection, there is no creation there is no divine togetherness - this is love is only a divine joke on the way into the next person.
It is possible to destroy the most beautiful thing there is. It is not difficult, it takes neither strength nor courage nor patience. It only takes focusing on your immediate needs and who can be there to fulfill them. Good communication takes openness and patience and a certain acceptance of frustration and humiliation, and still even when you try so hard, you will probbaly miss the only moment there was to improve things permanently. So just go and fuck whomever and go out with anyone, bond with anyone and don't respect anything really good that you created. You are sure to have disease and ultimate destruction, enjoy. Nothing really matters.
Although I am angry now, and I know that in the past being apart we lose it all the time, one day good one day bad, and then create it again. But now it is different. We don't recreate it anymore, not fully, it seems like there is now something permanently broken, but he would say he said so from day one - never together. Always at a distance.
It is different to be back here. In the first days I couldn't believe it, couldn't grasp it. I was sure never to see this place again. Never to have my heart jump with joy when I see Exit 17 Watertown. And then when I turn left and don't miss the ramp and then on Main Street the heart starts beating really fast and then I step on the gas, and then I think he surely is not home and if he is there is surely someone else in his arms or some other reason I can't be in his. I always dream there is joy and openness although I know there is fear and amor. I will leave the typo, a little ray of hope - Always and forever. Clong!
but this is a flower that drips and this plant is now in the garden
It is possible to destroy the most beautiful thing there is. It is not difficult, it takes neither strength nor courage nor patience. It only takes focusing on your immediate needs and who can be there to fulfill them. Good communication takes openness and patience and a certain acceptance of frustration and humiliation, and still even when you try so hard, you will probbaly miss the only moment there was to improve things permanently. So just go and fuck whomever and go out with anyone, bond with anyone and don't respect anything really good that you created. You are sure to have disease and ultimate destruction, enjoy. Nothing really matters.
Although I am angry now, and I know that in the past being apart we lose it all the time, one day good one day bad, and then create it again. But now it is different. We don't recreate it anymore, not fully, it seems like there is now something permanently broken, but he would say he said so from day one - never together. Always at a distance.
It is different to be back here. In the first days I couldn't believe it, couldn't grasp it. I was sure never to see this place again. Never to have my heart jump with joy when I see Exit 17 Watertown. And then when I turn left and don't miss the ramp and then on Main Street the heart starts beating really fast and then I step on the gas, and then I think he surely is not home and if he is there is surely someone else in his arms or some other reason I can't be in his. I always dream there is joy and openness although I know there is fear and amor. I will leave the typo, a little ray of hope - Always and forever. Clong!
but this is a flower that drips and this plant is now in the garden