Never believe a good moment. I just remembered you wanted to separate the cars. And I of course did what you said I always do what you say and I moved out of your way. So you can invite the good, nice other friends and they will have enough room to park comfortably, in between yours and mine. Great.
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Let's say we are making good progress, and I learn to open up and be happy. You are perfect anyway.
The thing is there are a few things I wanted to say but then in the moment they seem so pointless, so out of context, and I also don't want to invent things that could make us fight when in fact everything is perfect. Ok, not everything is perfect, but almost. I am jealous, yes, and I want to be more around you for everyday things like food and sleep. Yes, I do. I wish we could relax more. I feel that you are also stressed not just me. I am afraid that we fight. Although it is usually a good thing, not always, but lately. A good thing when we fight, it makes us closer sometimes but not always and it is better to enjoy the moment. I didn't know that it was also hard for me to open up. And relax. I need to trust you more and not be so afraid of everything. It is like I come with a bag full of things and when I see you it is all empty and free and just you and me. Oh my, the life got boring. It is true, you should not state the biggest fear, as much as you should be careful what you wish for. Interesting also that people only take down your plans and hopes and wishes when they turn out to be totally impossible to reach. Not because you are unworthy of them. Or maybe a little.
Some people are artists and they want to be perceived as such, part of an artistic project in every part of life. Part of the creative part of someone creative. Some people are not, they just do. And those people are more likely to be part of an artistic project. In my case, become my writing muse and at the same time my emotional plague. Usually they both go hand in hand. But after a while, never knowing what to do, and always thinking there are eggshells everywhere is exhausting and stressful and very unlikely to make anyone happy. And there we are again, you were right, we could never be together. Of course not. And I would certainly be fed up with you even before you finish the sentence where you ask me out. Oh, what a relief. So we don't need to try that. Cool, now life is utterly boring. |
AuthorI am a writer and philosopher with thresholds Archives
July 2020
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